LIFE'S RECAP: JANUARY TO APRIL 2019

Wow, it’s the first of May. Grabe noh, how time flies. I want to start this message with a thank you note to everyone for letting me felt your presence and support up to this day. 💕

Let me ask you guys—what happened in your day to day lives in the past four months? Mine was full of adventure— tinalo pa ang roller coaster ride. I remember, I started my 2019 with full of gratefulness because of overflowing blessings the whole year of 2018. But then akala ko -when you have everything, magiging super fulfilled ka na. Hindi pala. All of a sudden by mid-January, I felt something na hindi ko ma-explain! Para akong nalu-lukring na hindi ko maintindihan. I started na hindi magpakita with friends. I even started to turn down a lot of event invites-ayokong lumabas. May moments na bigla na lang akong naiiyak out of nothing and madalas, gusto ko ako lang mag-isa!

Alam nyo ba, during those times —I’ve always thought of giving up— give up the friends that I have, give up this community, and even giving up my family. Basta- i want to give up everything even yung mga pinaghirapan ko kasi, kasi, kasi... basta!, hindi ko ma-explain eh. Basta nahihirapan ako i-define yung nararamdaman ko that time. Hindi ko masagot yung mga tanong ko sa sarili ko na bakit ayoko na nga ba. Madalas ko sinasabi sa sarili ko that time- bakit ganon, bakit parang mag kulang pa din— bakit kahit na masaya ako, may moments pa din na hindi.

Totoo pala yung sinasabi nila: may time na dadaan ka sa stage na ganun. Pero nagpakalakas ako guys.

One day, habang umiiyak ako, I turned to God. Kinausap ko talaga sya. I asked him for guidance. Alam nyo— I realized, yun pala yung kulang ko. Sa sobrang dami ng activities sa buhay ko from the past years lalo na last year, nakalimutan ko pala sya. Siguro, dahil na din sa sobrang pagod that I didn’t realize na hindi na pala ako nakakapag-thank you man lang sa kanya at the end of each day. After ko sya kausapin, umiyak na lang ako ng umiyak until I fell asleep. Then the next thing I know, pag gising ko, okay na ko ulit. 

Ang dami ko pa pala gustong gawin sa buhay ko—- Gusto ko pa palang maging mas mabuting mommy kay Tammy, mas maging maganda at sexy na wifey kay husby. Sabi ko din, ang lagay eh hindi pa nga ako sumisikat, gi-give up na agad? Hahaha! Joke lang, seriously, gusto ko pang madaming magawa and ma-share na maganda. 

Kaya again— I’m thankful sa lahat ng tao around me. Yup LAHAT— buraot, toxic or posive vibes man ang naibigay sa buhay ko, I’m thankful dahil lahat yan gave me lessons and reasons to just swim with the tide of life and keep on going. 

Ang drama ko na sobra! Hahaha!

Basta, sa dinami dami ng kwento at sinabi ko, ang gusto ko lang sabihin—I ended my April grateful with a smiling heart. 

So, hello May— let’s go!💙💕